Are we born with an identity?

Our identity says something about who we are. We are all unique, so our identities are different. Can we change our identity, or will our identity remain the same throughout our life?

Accessibility icon Are we born with an identity?

What is identity?

Identity is not something you are born with, but rather something that develops over time. Nor is identity something that stays the same throughout life. We can change and adjust our identity.

Personal identity is about knowing who we are and who we want to be. But how we see ourselves, and how others see us, can be quite different. The important thing is that everyone has their own identity. We are all unique, and that means not being the same as everyone else.

En ung mann som ser mot oss med lue og ring i leppa.
En ung mann som ser mot oss med lue og ring i leppa.

Group identity

Group identity is about having common traits with a group of people, and can vary depending on what type of group you belong to.

A group identity could be “women” or “Norwegians”. Perhaps it is “we who love football”, “we who play in the band” or “Muslims”. A group identity helps you feel like you belong to something bigger. It can be both positive and negative.

Humans are made to be together. We are social beings, and it is important for us to be around other people. But the group that we feel belong to isn’t always positive for us.

Perhaps it is a group that grows bad interests (extremism, racism or crime), or that promotes dangerous ideas (self-harm, suicide, drugs).

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Skolekorps i stor klynge med instrumentene hevet over hodet.
Skolekorps i stor klynge med instrumentene hevet over hodet.

Roles and expectations

A role is a set of expectations linked to a situation or a position. By situation we mean the expectations for behaviour within a situation such as at home, in the classroom, at work, or with friends.

Sometimes it can be difficult to live up to the expectations of a role, like if you are expected to do well in a subject at school, and then don’t manage to make the grade.

A role can also depend on your social or professional position. There is a difference between a child and an adult, and whether you work in a shop or you are the prime minister.

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Undervisning i et klasserom der mange elever rekker opp hånda.
Undervisning i et klasserom der mange elever rekker opp hånda.

Roles changing over time

Situations and positions change. From being a child you become an adult. From being a student, you start working, and maybe you become a parent. As a parent you have a parental role to live up to.

It isn’t always easy to know how to behave in all situations, especially if you meet other cultures that have different norms, or if you are talking to someone who is in a different generation from yourself.

Some roles are formal, and others informal. Informal roles are being a daughter, father or student. Formal roles can be positions you have been chosen for, jobs you are employed in, or political positions.

Changing roles

If you don’t behave as expected in a role, this can cause confusion, chaos and aggression. It can be difficult not to follow the norms, whether at home, with friends, at school, or in society.

Changing roles can be difficult. If you’ve always accepted what others say, it can be difficult to suddenly start asking questions. If you’ve been labelled a troublemaker, problem child or petty criminal, it can be problematic to try to change your role.

Rebels against society

One example could be a young person who acts out against their parents or society. Another example could be the difference between what young people and older people think is acceptable when it comes to language, clothing, or views on technology. A third example could be behaviour that challenges tradition and religion, for example on holiday in a country with a different culture.

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To tenåringsgutter plager en medelev ved en rekke med skap.
To tenåringsgutter plager en medelev ved en rekke med skap.

Role reversal

How would you behave if you took on a different role?

  • You come home and act like a stranger in your own home
  • You suddenly turn 80 years old
  • You’re about to become a mother or a father
  • You change your religion
  • You become Prime Minister
  • You change your gender
Sorthvitt bilde av en far og ung sønn der sønnen er kledd som faren i dress og hatt.
Sorthvitt bilde av en far og ung sønn der sønnen er kledd som faren i dress og hatt.

Socialisation

Socialisation means that people learn to function in a society by understanding and knowing the rules and norms that one is expected to follow. Basically, you accept the same values as other people in that society.

This means that we should be able to separate between right and wrong, and between good and evil.

Consequences

If you don’t follow the norms and rules, there are likely to be consequences, either formally through breaking the law, or informally through breaking with the norms. Formally, you can be punished by law with fines or go to prison. Informally, you could be subject to house arrest, get slapped, or be banned from a group.

The rule is that the formal is normally written down, and norms are more like expected behaviour in different situations.

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En mann sitter med hodet bøyd i en fengselscelle.
En mann sitter med hodet bøyd i en fengselscelle.

Breaking norms

Breaking the norms and distancing yourself from society and its values is called social deviance. This can have both positive and negative outcomes.

Negative because it can lead to crime (breaking laws and regulations) or you can become excluded. Positive because questioning accepted practices can lead to further development of society.

En ung mann med sort hettegenser, sort skinnjakke og hanekam med striper av gult og fiolett.
En ung mann med sort hettegenser, sort skinnjakke og hanekam med striper av gult og fiolett.

Social media

Social media influences our identity in many ways. Some people show a perfect life on social media, while others are more authentic. Who we portray ourselves as on social media can differ greatly from who we really are.

Finding your true identity is not always easy. Society, friends and family have certain expectations of who you should be. These expectations may not always match your self-identity. What does it mean to be yourself, and how easy is it really?

Ung influenser med rosa hår som viser frem en gullsko foran et kamera.
Ung influenser med rosa hår som viser frem en gullsko foran et kamera.

Sources:

  • Skirbekk, Sigurd; Tjora, Aksel: sosialisering i Store norske leksikon på snl.no.
    Hentet 23. november 2021 fra https://snl.no/sosialisering

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